Sometimes I feel so dead inside and wonder what I am living for, and time and time again God reminds me of His promises and this hope that He promises.

A dead man cannot die. It seems that all the time God gives me more than I could ever handle, but I’m still alive. When I became a Christian about 2 years ago I thought I had already went through the most painful moment of my life before I gave my life to Christ, but now I see that sorrow was not in the beginning;  now it seems as if every other day is another day that I’d rather be dead than alive.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13

Heaven is so close, and yet so far. It has been promised but has not yet been given. The one thing that already has been given, though, is Christ. And by God’s grace it is already sufficient enough for me.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9


“Cleanse me from the inside

Wash away my life’s lies

telling me I’m alright

when I am so dirty on the inside.”

Please don’t let me be a hypocrite.

Please allow me to understand, and if not please continue to sustain me until it’s time to return back home.